Flirting With Women
The ABC’s of Flirting with Women at Work
For those of us for whom flirting with women is like breathing, it is virtually impossible to set aside our #1 pass-time just because we are in a place called “work”. This is especially the case since so many of us spend more time at work than we do waking hours in our own homes. So, despite the many prohibitions against fraternizing in the workplace, we are going to flirt anyway, it’s just in our nature.
What this article attempts to do is set down some ground rules or tips for flirting with women in the workplace. Its goal is to keep the flirter from being sued, fired or otherwise negatively affected. Of course, as many workplace experts will tell you, mixing sex and work is an inherently risky proposition. If you are going to take this risk anyway, however, you might as well think about how to do in a way that limits your risk as much as possible.
So here are the three main rules that you should follow:
Always Try to Flirt Laterally
If you’re going to flirt, you want to flirt with those who are your equals. As tempting as it may be flirting with the new administrative assistant you supervise, this is just asking for trouble. This power imbalance may actually add to the appeal of flirting with women who are beneath you in the workplace, but, as you know, flirting is a tricky busy where words are parsed and take on meanings that you don’t always intend. This sort of magic of flirting language is part of the fun of flirting. This, however, is exactly what will get you into trouble however in the workplace. Once words become charged with sexual energy it is difficult to separate the two out again. Adding to this problem is the fact that as men we often misinterpret the signals we get when we are flirting with women. All of this can lead to some very uncomfortable situations and in some cases to your possible reprimand or termination.
If you’re going to violate this rule, do it in the opposite direction: flirt with someone who is higher up in the pecking order than you are. This is slightly safer. However, it too can lead to some serious career stagnation if the person is in direct authority over you and doesn’t appreciate your attentions.
Flirt with Those Who You are Not Directly Involved With
Generally speaking, if you’re going to flirt with someone at work, it should be someone who you are not forced to work with every day. If you are in technical support, flirt with a salesgirl or someone from order processing; don’t flirt with the woman who shares your cubicle. This ensures a certain insulation should things go wrong. The two of you can then go about your lives without having to be constantly reminded of how things.
If you are going to violate this rule, and I would highly recommend against it, then be sure to go very, very slowly. Don’t start with sexual innuendo during the first month of sharing a cubicle. Make sure your flirting is welcome and that your cubicle mate is participating in it as well.
Designate Office Hours and the Physical Borders of the Workplace as a No-Flirt Zone
If possible, keep your most overt flirting to non-work hours and non-work areas. Flirt at lunch, flirt at the pub after work, flirt before punch-in and after you punch-out. Of course, there will be some mild flirting during work no matter what, but as much as possible keep the more explicit or aggressive sort of flirting outside the workspace.
In addition, don’t forget never to flirt via company e-mail or on a company phone. Companies are increasingly monitoring their workers and such uses of company communication devices—even during non-work hours—can bring the paranoid legal team down on you in a flash.
Follow these rules and you will be able to enjoy the pleasures of flirting with women as a daily pastime. Of course, if your workplace is pub, restaurant or other highly social workplace you can pretty much disregard everything I’ve written and flirt at will. Happy flirting!