Flirting Techniques
Tips On Effective Flirting Techniques
Which flirting techniques are most effective depends somewhat on the person doing the flirting as well as who is on the other end. The environment or circumstances under which flirting takes place can also make a difference. The flirt may be well received, or it can sow the seeds for disaster. After all, flirting is initially done to get a person's attention. Once that's been accomplished, flirting is continued, to solidify the situation, making a person even more aware of your interest. Being able to successfully flirt is something good to have in your personal toolbox.
The Touch - At the risk of oversimplifying what effective flirting is all about, the process can be looked as flirting from a distance, and flirting up close and personal. To be successful at it, you generally have to have had some success at flirting from a distance first. Most people will respond positively to a wave or a smile if they are even the slightest bit interested in who you are or might be. The same person could be permanently turned of, if your first flirting attempt would be to touch him or her. A strategy for effective flirting could be described as one where the distance over which flirting takes place steadily becomes shorter. There is always the exception of course. Some people react very favorably to an aggressive approach, but most do not. That said, there are times when one has to operate quickly to take advantage of circumstances, and the time between the smile at a distance, and touching someone's arm, may only be a matter of a few days, or a few hours.
Without dwelling too long on "the touch", we all need to be aware of the fact that everyone has their personal space, and that space is invaded at your peril. A girl for example, may respond positively form flirting not only from a distance but from up close as well. There is an invisible shield however, which may take some time to break down. Shaking some ones hand doesn't usually constitute an invasion of personal space, but a touch on the arm, shoulder, or elsewhere easily could. The strategy here is to be aware of the other person's body language, which often gives a clue as to how soon, and how close, they can be approached.
The Eyes Have It - The most effective flirting techniques of all involve eye contact. Casual eye contact can let the person know you’re interested. It doesn't have to be a stare. That's a definite turn off. Mutual eye contact can indicate a possibility of something good happening, mutual eye contact, when it happens several times, may seal the deal. When we're interested in someone we look at them more than once, and they are if interested they'll usually respond. The backwards glance says a lot, especially if both parties do it. When talking to someone you've just met, make brief eye contact frequently, but keep each glance brief. It's a fact that most people start to become uncomfortable if you look them directly in the eye for more than 2 seconds. That doesn't seem too long, but try it with a stranger (one you're not trying to flirt with) and see.
Be There - Being in the neighborhood is another of the more important flirting techniques, and becomes especially important if the first glance shows promise. Being in the neighborhood simply means not allowing yourself to be out of sight and out of mind. It means working at being where the other person may see you, only if for a glance and a wave. In the meantime you're figuring out how to get closer, with the idea of starting up a conversation. Being in the neighborhood may be as simple as knowing where a girl is apt to be walking between classes, or finding out which church a guy attends, so that you might conveniently drop by one Sunday. When someone has seen you several times, getting a wink and a smile each time, they're much more apt to feel like engaging in a conversation once you “move in”.
If we could read the other person's mind, the flirting techniques that would best serve us might be easy to come up with. But we can't, and unless we have a tried and true approach, we usually have to resort to trial and error with unpredictable results.